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Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and for many of you, that means that you need to start making arrangements for an evening at your favorite Gentleman's Establishment.  To properly set the mood, FSA presents to you the definitive Top 10 Strip Club Songs Of All Time.

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This list was handcrafted by The Cardiff Giant, FSA's resident expert on the topic.  Please note that this list is intended to feature the best songs that create/capture the correct vibe for activities INSIDE  the club.  As such, NOT appearing on this list are songs ABOUT strip clubs ("Perfect Gentleman," Wyclef), songs that are simply too fast or otherwise off rhythm ("Back That Azz Up," Nellie), or songs that might be off-putting to your dance partner ("Put It In Your Mouth," Akinyele).  These are all worthwhile jams, but ultimately did not make the cut.  We have put in the work and trimmed the fat.  Grab a chair with a good view and make yourself comfortable.  Here are the choice cuts...

10.  Make It Rain - Fat Joe (ft. Lil Wayne)  (2006)

Our first entry coined the term that is now universally understood at clubs throughout the world.  Repeated over and over, it's become the unofficial strip club rally cry. Couple the lyrics with a slightly creepy guitar line and prominent trumpet blasts, and you've got yourself a banger. "Got a handful of stacks, better grab an umbrella." Woo!!

 

9.  Beautiful People - Marilyn Manson (1999)

Probably not the first song that would come to mind (didn't for me), but an informal poll of local strip club DJs and (more importantly) dancers reveals that this is among the most popular songs for club employees.  One dancer remarked that the hard bass intro and angst-screaming "puts her in just the right mood."  Good enough for me!

 

8. Blame It - Jamie Foxx (ft. T-Pain)  (2008)

Lotta good stuff here from the crossover star.  On-point lyrics, catchy hook and chorus, and the perfect tempo for those tender moments away from the main floor.  Never apologize for who you are or what you do.  But if you have to, just blame it on the Goose (got ya feelin loose).

 

7. Drop It Like It's Hot - Snoop Dogg (ft. Pharrell Williams)  (2004)

Snooooooooooo-OOOP.  Pharrell and Snoop balance each other perfectly in this snappy track that reads more like an instruction manual.   Instantly recognizable by the intro vocal and clucking, this one consistently gets the ladies workin'.

 

6. Girls, Girls, Girls - Mötley Crüe  (1987)

It's  1 a.m., you're more than a few deep, and you are just starting to hit your best stride.  The DJ cuts the music and invites ALL dancers to the main stage.  That's when you hear the motorcycle engines rev.  The buffet is open, fellas, take your pick.  This timeless rock anthem will never NOT be a strip club staple and is more than deserving of its place on this list.

 

5. Get Low - Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz  (ft. Yin Yang Twins)  (2002)

Ladies and Gents, Lil Jon has entered the building (a strip club connoisseur if there ever was one.  This track thumps from start to finish, imploring all the little shorties to "get low" and "back, back, back-it-up!"  The synth hook serves as the perfect backdrop for the artist's guttural screams and the now infamous "to the window, to the waaaaaaaaalll." This is the stuff legends are made of.

 

4. Got Money - Lil Wayne (ft. T-Pain)  (2008)

Yes, we could probably do an entire Top 10 list with just Lil Wayne, which is a mostly a testament to Tha Carter III as an album.  That said, "Got Money" is the very best of the bunch when it comes to strip club songs.   This is the definitive VIP-area anthem, a song strictly about rolling up to the club with a fat wallet and letting everyone know what you're there to do.  Lil Wayne spits fire on the mic while the catchy Miami Vice-style hook hangs in the back.  Special nod to the claps in the middle section of the song.  

 

3. Wiggle - Jason Derulo (ft. Snoop Dogg)  (2014)

We have reached the medal stand.  We open with strumming guitar and some lighthearted whistling while Snoop voices over some thoughts to his singing partner.  Background vocals build to a crescendo then you get hit with it...."YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THAT BIG FAT BUTT...", followed by the goddamn catchiest hook I've ever heard.  The message is pretty straightforward here...pair it with a great melodic composition and you've got an absolute powerhouse for the strip clubs.  Not since Sir Mix-a-Lot has a song entirely about derrieres been so on point.   

 

2.  Cherry Pie - Warrant  (1990)

The Hustler Club in New Orleans has a pole that's 25 feet tall.  A few years back, I was there catching up on some reading when I witnessed the most outrageous stage ensemble in history, culminating in this particular dancer climbing up to the ceiling, then doing a controlled slide back down...upside down...without using her hands.  This song was playing at the time.  It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen in any club, cabaret or otherwise.  "Cherry Pie" is the epitome of 90's hair band rock and for my money is far and away THE best rock song for strip clubs.  In fact, it's very nearly the best song in this setting, period.  However...

 

1.  Down On Me - Jeremih (ft. 50 cent)  (2010)

 

I defy you to listen to this song and not picture yourself in a plush velvet-covered chair, practicing the Tango with a partner of your choice.  Everything about this song is perfect for the setting, from the lyrics, to the tempo, to 50 lending the track just the right amount of grime.  The gospel-style chorus preaches the lyrics to the lovely ladies while you kick back and enjoy the scenery.

 

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The Cardiff Giant

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